Haircut
I got a haircut two days ago. After several years of having long hair, I had a sudden impulse to just chop it off at shoulder length and deal with the consequences later. The last time my hair was this short was in high school. But here I am now, 22 years old, officially out of school, and facing a lot of things that are scarier than a bad haircut. So I suppose the question I have to explore now is why - why I felt the need for a change, to do something not entirely new but something that I haven't done in a long time.
I wondered if it was the whole "getting rid of the past and all its baggage" act but I don't think that's it. I didn't go through some traumatic breakup and decide to chop off my hair in an act of feminist defiance to social norms of beauty. I haven't been through such a difficult time in the last few years that I have a need to symbolically shed my past. I keep going back to the fact that I had short hair in high school and I resolved to never cut it short again because it simply didn't suit me. I didn't think I pulled it off.
The past is a funny thing. With it we indulge our nostalgias, tweak our failures, and exaggerate our hurts. Our memories become fables that explain the way we approach our lives and our relationships today and tomorrow. And inaccurate as they may be, memories are important because they are important to the one who remembers them. Sometimes, they provide warnings to help us avoid situations that have turned out badly for us in the past, but other times, they challenge us to meet those same situations head on and prove that we've outgrown the weaknesses that brought us down last time.
In the midst of all the new coming up in my life, I think I wanted to do something old and do it better. I wanted to look in the mirror and see a similar haircut on a different girl. A girl who's not just older but more confident, self-possessed, and poised. Maybe the haircut didn't look as bad as I remembered, so I wanted to know if my very self-image has changed. I was curious to see if I could pull it off this time.
With my new haircut I've heard everything from "you look older!" to "you look much younger now!" to "it looks so fun!" to "you look like Rachel from 'Friends'". But beyond the style or the looks, I have to say I'm pretty amazed at whom I've become. I'm proud of how far I've come since high school - how much better I've gotten to know me, know what I'm capable of and what I stand for. I have fallen, been wounded, hurt many in return, lost sight of my way, trusted desperately in God, and come out the other side.
I feel like I've suddenly looked up from all I've been doing and am staring in wonder at the woman I've been lovingly crafted into by the Lord. I'm not who I was, and who I am now is not going to last. And all I can say is that the trajectory of my life seems to be moving closer and closer to realizing my full identity in Christ and that is something to be excited about.
So in a nutshell, yes I think my new haircut is quite cute. =)
I wondered if it was the whole "getting rid of the past and all its baggage" act but I don't think that's it. I didn't go through some traumatic breakup and decide to chop off my hair in an act of feminist defiance to social norms of beauty. I haven't been through such a difficult time in the last few years that I have a need to symbolically shed my past. I keep going back to the fact that I had short hair in high school and I resolved to never cut it short again because it simply didn't suit me. I didn't think I pulled it off.
The past is a funny thing. With it we indulge our nostalgias, tweak our failures, and exaggerate our hurts. Our memories become fables that explain the way we approach our lives and our relationships today and tomorrow. And inaccurate as they may be, memories are important because they are important to the one who remembers them. Sometimes, they provide warnings to help us avoid situations that have turned out badly for us in the past, but other times, they challenge us to meet those same situations head on and prove that we've outgrown the weaknesses that brought us down last time.
In the midst of all the new coming up in my life, I think I wanted to do something old and do it better. I wanted to look in the mirror and see a similar haircut on a different girl. A girl who's not just older but more confident, self-possessed, and poised. Maybe the haircut didn't look as bad as I remembered, so I wanted to know if my very self-image has changed. I was curious to see if I could pull it off this time.
With my new haircut I've heard everything from "you look older!" to "you look much younger now!" to "it looks so fun!" to "you look like Rachel from 'Friends'". But beyond the style or the looks, I have to say I'm pretty amazed at whom I've become. I'm proud of how far I've come since high school - how much better I've gotten to know me, know what I'm capable of and what I stand for. I have fallen, been wounded, hurt many in return, lost sight of my way, trusted desperately in God, and come out the other side.
I feel like I've suddenly looked up from all I've been doing and am staring in wonder at the woman I've been lovingly crafted into by the Lord. I'm not who I was, and who I am now is not going to last. And all I can say is that the trajectory of my life seems to be moving closer and closer to realizing my full identity in Christ and that is something to be excited about.
So in a nutshell, yes I think my new haircut is quite cute. =)
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