Writing ...

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For as long as I have been able to write my feelings, I've always claimed that writing is one of my favorite pastimes. However, I've never been able to write in my journals faithfully, or post consistently in this blog (or any other). It doesn't meant that I never have anything to say, or that things in my life are perfectly fine and I need no emotional outlet. I suppose for me, writing used to be a way to just throw all of my jumbled thoughts and feelings out into the air and watch them settle down and reorganize themselves in a way I can better understand. But these past couple of years, I've begun to internalize things more. Perhaps "internalize" isn't the best word, because it connotes a ticking time bomb or something. I've simply begun to mull over things in my mind more, and when I sit down to write something, it just doesn't feel necessary to rehash everything I've sorted through.
But I think the real reason I don't write out everything I feel is that a tiny (big) part of me is afraid of letting all 3.6 of my readers know how I truly feel at times. I'm sure there have been very personal entries in this blog in the past, but I don't know. It's not a very easy thing to expose yourself to a silent audience who may or may not understand what you're trying to express.

But today I thought, "forget it. I need an outlet and I love writing and I'm not in a place in my life right now where I am surrounded by many people who I can talk about these things. I don't want to just push the issues in my life out of sight, out of mind." And for all of you who are here because of the lighter mood of my more recent entries, do not fear! I have left the listen-to-sad-music-as-I-gaze-out-at-the-rain-and-write-about-my-beautifully-depressing-emotions girl behind me (or so I hope...although I do like to listen to sad music at times ... especially when it rains...) I guess what I'm trying to say is I'll try to be more honest. Truth of the matter is, I'm usually happy and I like to make quirky remarks about life and love and strange obsessions along with strange pep peeves. I love to comment on movies or shows or songs with long-winded reviews and numerous attempts at amateur philosophy. Those should still be around (I think there will be an entry on GLEE coming up realllll soon!)

I miss writing and I want to do it more. I will definitely NOT make it a new year's resolution though, cause we all know how those end up ....

=)

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David said…
It appears that your subscription audience has increased by .6
December 4, 2009 at 7:23 PM
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