Sleep

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I sat before my computer tonight in a flurry of emotions, and in fifteen minutes, I hammered out a convoluted string of words in a desperate attempt to punch out the way I felt at the moment and leave it as an abandoned draft in this abandoned blog. But after I had furiously typed out all my loneliness and frustration, I took a deep breath, saved my work, and decided to browse through some of my old entries. I'm not sure what happened but I felt a calm come over me, and suddenly I'm sleepy. The reason I had begun typing in the first place was because I was physically exhausted but so worked up that I was afraid to sleep; afraid of the kind of thoughts I'd be left with if I turned the lights off. It dawned on me then how the desire to sleep can be so telling about a person's peace of mind. Many times this week I had been unable to sleep, my mind bursting with gnawing thoughts and future worries. I've tried to make it up by taking long naps during the day. But the night is inevitable and I can't escape that moment right after my head meets the pillow, when the deafening thoughts begin to swarm around me. And all I can do is wait to see how long the thoughts will put up a fight before sleep wins. Too often sleep takes too long to win.
I guess I've always taken sleep for granted

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