Here we go

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A couple of days ago, I received a packet of information for my didactic year of PA school. Out of the 9 sheets of paper, 7 of them have lists of required purchases. Books, medical supplies (I get to circle my color preference for my stethoscope), membership fees for 2 different organizations, and a fee for a background check (strangest thing I've ever heard). As I read through each page of requirements, my head began to spin and my heart began to sink. This all seems so ... irreversible.

I told a friend that at times I feel like I was pushed onto one of those escalators in the airports (the ones that are just flat and not stairs), and I find myself moving rapidly toward a direction with no way out. But a part of me is also excited to see what awaits me at the end of the moving strip. I suppose it had never really hit me that I am about to be trained in the medical field until I realized I'm being asked to buy an otoscope.

I'm still struggling a bit with what I want to do with my calling. I'm only 20, but I feel like I want to make decisions that will change the course of my life. I want to make a radical choice that I will look back on one day and point to it and say that this changed everything. Then again, I only want that scenario to unfold if everything changed for the better...

After coming home from California, my heart's desires wrestled with my reason. I had to continually remind myself that a man's heart is deceitful, and that whoever came up with the phrase "just follow your heart" probably didn't get where he wanted to go. After praying and speaking to several people, I knew that I needed to stick this through. I need to give this a shot. God gave me gifts so I can use them, and I trust that He knows exactly how and when that time should be.

So in the meantime, bring on the med terms and scrubs. I trust You, Lord.

Comments

David said…
From what I've learned there's no such thing as THE radical step that changes your life. Because that implies that after that step it's smooth sailing. Rather it's the decision to own your life and live a life where you continually make decisions and commitments against all odds.
July 13, 2010 at 9:57 PM
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