Lonely for Me

By -
There are days when what I feel cannot be what I believe
Because if it were, I wouldn't be able to continue believing
So what can I cling to
When chilling winter storms try to convince me
No one's there?

Self-indulgent loneliness is crippling
The silence deafening, the dissatisfaction blinding
I become jealous of snapshots
Glimpses of what I believed to be more colorful lives
Lives full of freedom

For so long I sat still, waving my banners
"You wouldn't understand" "You don't really know me"
As the wind sent fingers of cold deep into my chest
Feeling for my heart, assuring me that
My fears were real

But one day, I felt the icy cold flee from within
As an altogether new wave steals over me
Sprung from the sound of these simple words
I'm so lonely for you, Deb. Why won't you talk to me?
I miss you.

For months I have longed for noise
Longed to be surrounded, wanted, and invited
While all He wanted, was to be invited into my heart's conversations
To be surrounded by my voice
And hold me tight

What am I worth, that the King of Heaven
Would be lonely for me, would wait patiently for me
To awaken from my self-induced coma?
His love pierced through the thickest winter fog
To win me back again.

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